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Church communicator, leader and pastor …

• Do you ever struggle to process and manage your thoughts and feelings in the midst of your work and life? 
• When someone asks you how your church/ministry is going, do you simultaneously (and very genuinely) feel like it's such amazing, life-giving work and also that you're about ready to give up? 
• You have incredible purpose yet also complication and chaos? 
• You’re so grateful for your team and the people you serve yet there are multiple issues to grow and work through?

Me too. Us too. 

Seriously, let's get real ...

Coming into this work week I thought, "Here we go—we're praying ... we're full of faith ... our Fishhook team has a lot to figure out and get done and, we're doing it. Awesome! Thanks, God!"

Yet a couple days in—there have been hard situations, competing priorities, very full workloads, questions, some doubt and discouragement.

Simultaneously, there are humble hearts, trust, gratefulness, commitment, listening, eagerness to grow and so much more.

It's difficult to know how to process it all. Pray through it. And how to persevere. God—what do you have for us? God—what part are you asking me to play?

So here's what I/we did ... 

At first, I was ready to force it. Get to work. Get things done. Keep going. Say very little. 

Then God stopped me in my tracks (but I had things to do—I didn't want to be THIS honest—I was confused).

And He said, "I need you to take a couple hours. Right now. Give yourself some space (I'll figure out your to-do list for you later). You need to: Pray. Journal. Share what you are processing with other leaders. Share with the team. Ask people how they are doing. Ask them what they see, and lean in to process how we can get to a better spot together."

I'll be honest, it's messy and it's emotional, but I believe it's right and we're moving forward. So as I/we are feeling stress, here's the path I have seen work again and again to help our team make progress together.

• First, I humble myself. For all of us and especially for the leader, this is where I have to start (God, help me to do this earnestly). This involves pausing. I have to stop, find quiet and then pray, journal and open myself to God's Spirit. Where am I? Where is our team? What does God want from me today?
• I connect with others. I know that saying some constructive things at an appropriate time out loud to my husband, to Shayla (who leads Fishhook with me), to other leaders and our team at Fishhook are really important. Talking openly and honestly builds awareness, gets others involved so we can journey together, and leads to better solutions, investment and unity. 
• I commit to the daily, ongoing journey (so basically this is the first step—humbling myself—again and again). Each day, we take another step forward. I would love to speed up the process. I would love to get it done and move on. Nope! It's a daily journey to seek God, learn from Him, connect authentically with others, and continue to grow and serve together.

Years ago, I thought leadership was about aiming to have all the answers and looking and communicating a certain way (basically, having it all together). But now, I've learned that was more about my flesh, ego and pride. 

Today? I think leadership and communicating is all about striving to be the most humble version of myself (only possible through Christ) and striving to be open with others. All to serve. All to bring glory to Jesus.

This is a different way of living. Clinging to prayer, not my pride. Looking to God's Spirit. Depending on His strength and provision, not my flesh.

Remember my opening questions? 

• Do you ever struggle to process and manage your thoughts and feelings in the midst of your work and life? 
• When someone asks you how your church/ministry is going, do you simultaneously (and very genuinely) feel like it's such amazing, life-giving work and also that you're about ready to give up? 
• You have incredible purpose yet also complication and chaos? 
• You’re so grateful for your team and the people you serve yet there are multiple issues to grow and work through?

My answer is YES to all of these. And I see God using everything—all of this—in my life to help me grow in humility, seek Him more, share with others, and be diligent each day with our team and the work He has given. 

I trust that this sharing (it's real) is what God is asking of me today! And I pray it is encouraging to you as well. Because God uses everything for His purposes!